woman on market st.

[duccio]

This came in my email Monday. It's the every other day installment of the poems of Emily Dickinson that I subscribe to from DailyLit. Many of the poems I can't quite relate to. The spiritual certainty of some of them often irks me and I hit the delete button, hardly having finished reading, but then there are the others that reveal doubt. They are worth waiting for...

This one seemed to come about a week late. I always hope somewhere down deep that I will hear something, see or feel something, but I am confirmed in my own certitude that I never will, and never have. Though this one coming late, it will do.

IV.

We cover thee, sweet face.
Not that we tire of thee,
But that thyself fatigue of us;
Remember, as thou flee,
We follow thee until
Thou notice us no more,
And then, reluctant, turn away
To con thee o'er and o'er,
And blame the scanty love
We were content to show,
Augmented, sweet, a hundred fold
If thou would'st take it now.


Emily Dickinson

Comments

[shinsetsu]

What does this poem mean to you?

[duccio]

It means someone is saying goodbye to a loved one who has recently died and is reluctant to let go of the beloved. They blame themselves somewhat for the loss due to a failure to have loved enough and perhaps only now realize the depth of their grief as they attempt to remember the image of the deceased, and sadly promise things would be different if there were only another chance.

I was unfamiliar with this use of the word con so looked it up. Normally, we use it in the sense of doing a trick on someone, or in the sense of "Pro and con". Another meaning, maybe obsolete, is the infinitive "to Know" or "to realize". Here, the poet seems to use it in the sense of continuously trying to remember and to see again.

[shinsetsu]

I always hope for that--that the people I loved who just up and left me without a backward glance, might someday realise their loss, but sadly, I dun think that will ever happen, so I guess I should just content myself with the 'inner life' as I was reading in my book this morning.

[duccio]

It's important to always maintain the inner life in a healthy and self caring way, but one should continue to move forward in the world too, and not be content with disappointment. Shit happens, but that's not a reason to throw away the menu.

I think the ones who just up and left were inadequate in their own inner life and had a paucity of empathy in their hearts that would allow them to hurt without feeling. They were weak in that respect but even though they would have gone away anyway, they could have considered your feelings. I wonder at what point they stopped feeling before they left, or if they ever had had strong feeling, or just were takers: there with you only for convenience to fill their void - you could have been anyone to them maybe.

I know people like that too. We maybe should be glad that they take off so fast. The lying was ended in a flash - like a bandage being pulled from a cut rapidly: ouch! We will heal faster with the infectant removed even though there might be a small scar that remains. We can live with it while searching for someone better and with more integrity and a better heart - one that matches our own wiser and more empathetic one. Now we are ready for them.

[shinsetsu]

Thank you duccio. I'll think on it, but I dun ever want to feel close to anybody again.

[duccio]

I hear ya, sister.